the troubled
by i'dratherdream
Summary: How do you ruin a life that was set for failure the moment it began? Shaw Ryans is a female version of Sirius Good looking, troubled past, always gets herself into trouble but has feelings for Remus, who has feelings for her."We're both pretty messed up."
1. Chapter 1

Shaundra was sitting in the common room, like she had been doing quite often lately, when James walked in

Shaundra was sitting in the common room, like she had been doing quite often lately, when James walked in. "Jamesy-boy! I am glad you're here," she said rising out of her seat and jumping in circles around James. After being dizzy from watching the, obviously, bored girl do laps around him he grabbed her shoulders. "Why exactly are you glad I am here," he asked, eyebrow raised. "Well I have a stock of butter beer in my room and no one else to drink it with me," Shaundra replied, softly elbowing him, suggestively.

"Oh well then I am glad I am here too. So where is the butter beer," he asked rubbing his hands in anticipation. Shaundra put up her finger then turned and ran up the girls stairs into her dorm room. When she got in there she threw open her trunk and rummaged threw it. Finally she pulled out 2 cases of butter beer. As she skipped down the stairs she noticed Lily and Sirius arguing about something as they walked threw the portrait hole. Shaundra planted herself next to James and put the 2 cases of butter beer at her feet. "Lil, Sirius! Come over and finish these butter beers off with me and jamesy-boy," she called to the 2. The 2 stopped there quarreling and walked over towards the 2. "Bloody hell 2 cases of butter beer," Sirius bellowed in surprise. "'Because you can't have just one," she explained while handing out butter beers. Everyone moved around so Lily and James where sitting on an arm chair together; Shaundra and Sirius sat on a couch across from them. As if it was fate Peter came down the stairs from the boy's dorm and ended up joining the lot. The 5 were all laughing and letting the delicious beverage slide down there throat.

Everyone had had about 3 butter beers and was on there fourth, when Remus entered the common room with some girl attached to his arm. This pissed Shaundra off royally. This was the 6th girl he had been with in the past week, and what pissed her off even more, was that it was all her fault. Before Shaundra had dated Remus all the girls would say he's cute, funny, nice, but would never ever admit it. He was a mystery to everyone who wasn't his friend. Girls would never tell anyone that they found the mystery man attractive or if they fancied him. But after Shaundra _solved _the big "mystery", everyone was buzzing about how they always liked Remus and it wasn't fair and blah, blah, blah. As if it wasn't bad enough that Remus ripped out her heart when he dumped her, (_You're nothing more then some typical whore; I can't trust you with Sirius! I mean you_ _slept with him! I can't be with you anymore!) _But they had every class together so she had to see him with some floozy every second, of every minute, of every hour, of every damned day. Every time Shaundra saw him snogging some girl it just put salt in the wound. She wanted to cry and run away, but no one had seen her cry in her 6, almost 7, years at Hogwarts, and she wasn't about to let people see it now, especially over a guy.

"Oi! Mooney, haven't seen you all day, come join us," James called out to him. Shaundra immediately sunk in her seat trying to be unseen as Remus and the girl walked towards them. "James, you're such an idiot," Lily said while shaking her head after seeing the way her friend acted, but James just gave her a confused look. "Mooney have a butter beer and relax with us," Sirius said shoving a beverage in his hand. "Yes join us, drink my butter beer, with your girl friend, why don't you just stab me repeatedly in the eye," Shaundra whispered to herself. "Did you say something Shaw," Sirius asked not really caring because one of his best mates was finally sitting with them after about a day of hanging around with girls. Shaundra put on a brilliant smile and straightened up, making it look as if she was fine, dandy, happy, glad, anything but what she was really felling. Anger, sadness, hate. "Lupin don't be so rude," Shaundra said handing a drink to the girl, "Shaundra Ryans." Remus stared at Shaundra trying to see if he could find a trace of guilt, anger, or envy. No such luck. Suddenly he snapped out of it, "Oh excuse me, this is Vanessa Gray." Vanessa just smiled shyly trying to seem comfortable in this new group of people. Soon the 4 boys, Lily, and Vanessa got into a conversation about something or other. Shaundra was chugging down butter beers at a rapid pace trying not to let herself get open for conversation. Everyone was laughing at something Vanessa said about Professor Bins, when Remus once again stared at Shaundra. "Uh Shaw, you should probly hold back on the butter beers, that's a lot of sugar," he said in almost a worried fashion. Shaundra just chuckled and put down the now empty bottle. "V- Is it okay if I call you V," she asked. Vanessa opened her mouth to answer but Shaundra didn't wait or care. "How long have you and Lupin been an item, a couple, together, a lovey dovey bee and honey?" Everyone immediately quit talking and looked at Shaundra. Everyone knew that Remus didn't really like the poor girl, or any other girl that he had been with after Shaw, even Vanessa knew this. This was just rubbing it in her face that Remus was using her as a play thing. The awkward smile she had on her face she put on when Shaundra began to speak to her, was now gone, as Vanessa frowned and lowered her head. "Um well, ………… we really aren't ….. you know …. I," she stuttered. No one could believe Shaw was actually making her say it. The whole Remus thing was like the pink elephant in the room no one talked about, it was really awkward talking about it. "Aw I see keeping things on DL, the down low, under cover, incognito, under raps. I see, I see. Well I am off to the library better do the homework sometime, right," she said getting up. "What homework," Peter asked. "Oh you know the homework for class the class we have, the one that we take," she said hurriedly, trying to get past all the bottles and legs. "Here I'll go with you Shaw," Lily said will gracefully rising. "NO!" she screamed turning around looking as if she was hiding something. The group all stared at her, she was turning into a nutter right before there very eyes. Shaundra just laughed, an unnatural laugh, a rather creepy, crazy, and terrifying laugh. "What I mean is, I don't want to ruin your fun, stay here with James, Its cute two _couples_ and, then the boys here. Ha ha, you two are going to need to get some girls or people are going to think you're gay," she said in a rush almost hoping everyone would forget the 1st thing she said. No one answered, but just stared, well except Vanessa, who was still looking down. Shaundra opened her mouth to say something like_, I'm sorry Vanessa I shouldn't be so spiteful towards you, you're not the one who is killing me inside._ Then she thought better of it, if she said that it would start a whole fiasco, and Shaundra wasn't sure if she could hold back tears and untamable emotions any longer. She closed her mouth and just walked out of the common room feeling like a bitch, an idiotic, sad, angry, bitch.

Everyone was staring at the place Shaundra was just standing at, trying to think of what to say. It was silent for about 2 minutes when finally the silence was broken. "Um Remus I think I better go," Vanessa said standing up looking rather down cast. Remus fallowed suit and said, "I am very sorry for everything, I didn't think she would act like that and-," "Remus, I… just got to go," she said quietly before walking out of the common room, Remus following after her desperately trying to apologize. "What the bloody hell were you 2 thinking," Lily said standing up and smacking James and Sirius in the back of the head, getting a reply of 'ouch.' "What in merlins name are you talking about, I am not the one who went bonkers," James exclaimed. "Think about it! Shaw has just had her broken by Remus. He keeps rubbing it in by having a new girl on his arm, like one of his books ever day. She is kind enough to share whole 2 cases with the lot of you, and then you go and bring Remus over here, uninvited by the person who invited us," She said loudly. The 2 boys just looked at her like she was speaking in Latin. "Ugh, it's like me braking up with you, and then going and shagging Sirius in front of you, then still hanging around the lot of you," she said rolling her eyes. "I would kick Sirius' ass," James said standing up. "Exactly, but Shaundra is different then us. She tries to hide her feelings and pretend nothings wrong. After holding all that in she is bound to let it slip sooner or later. Unfortunate for Vanessa, she was in the line of fire. And this all could have been avoid if you to hadn't invited Remus where he was not welcome," she ended placing her hands on her hips and scowling at the 2. Simultaneously the boys looked at each other and said, 'Oooh, oops!' After being quite for so long Sirius had to ruin the moment by saying, "So Lily was that an offer," while standing up and putting an arm around her, smirking. "Shut up Sirius;" the couple said together before James protectively grabbed Lily and hugged her. "Only kidding mate, plus red heads aint my thing, they are so violent," Sirius laughed while sitting back down. Lily raised an eyebrow and gave a very inappropriate jester to Sirius. They all laughed even the, until now, quite, Peter.

Suddenly Remus stomped threw the door looking extremely angry. "Where the hell is she," he asked in a very annoyed tone. They all gave him a look that said, '_Who_?'

"Shaundra! Who else would I be talking about? Where is she, she said she was going to the library and she isn't there," he bellowed. "Well duh, of course she isn't there. Shaundra just said that as an excuse to leave. We don't have any homework, plus she doesn't want any of us to find her," James said as if it was the simplest thing in the world, which it was. "I am going to kill her! What she did was completely uncalled for, rude and purely out of spite," he said angrily. Lily stood up and started walking by him but stopped when she was standing next to him. "Didn't you brake up with her out of spite, for shagging Sirius? I wouldn't be the one talking about spite, Remus," Lily spat. "You know exactly why I broke up with her and am pushing her away from me," he growled. "If that's why then why are you playing this game, Remus? This little vengeance you have against her, is the vengeance from her caring about you, when you don't want her too, because your furry little problem? Or is it from her doing something while she was drunk 2 years ago, that you just can't seem to get over, or deal with," she said returning the glare, he was now giving her. "It isn't that simple," he said looking at the ground in front of him while rubbing his neck. "Being angry at someone, and doing things to hurt them, is as simple, as _swish and flick_," she said in a low angry tone, referring to the one of the first things they learned here at Hogwarts. Without another word Lily slowly climbed the stairs to her dorm room. Plopped himself on the ground right there and said, "This is all Shaundra's fault she is just messing with my head." All the boys just rolled there eyes and tried to comfort there friend, even though they felt like punching him and telling him he was an idiot. After the Shaundra and Remus split, the 3 had promised to always comfort Remus, no matter how stupid he was being. Remus was a marauder, their Mooney, their best mate, not Shaundra. Yet they all couldn't help but feel this over whelming sensation of………. pity, for Shaw.


	2. Chapter 2

"Icily washy zippy bop pity, blue bleep blah- oh whoosh ya look at that ish lunch time," she slurred while stumbling along the way to the common room

"Icily washy zippy bop pity, blue bleep blah- oh whoosh ya look at that ish dinner time," she slurred while stumbling along the way to the common room.

After everything happened Shaundra made her way to the lake. She ran, along the lake. This continued for hours, until finally she was tired of running. Not just physically, but emotionally. She wanted to do anything to make the pain in her heart stop, and she was going to stop it, the coward's way.

"Whishing frishby," she said to the fat lady.

"Oh my dear girl, you are horribly drunk, how disgusting, and so unbecoming of a young lady your age," she said her nose in the air.

"_How unbecoming of a young-_ jush open the fribbin door woosh ya," she said taking another swig of the bottle of fire whisky she had stolen from one of the pubs in Hogsmeade.

After a loud 'humph' the portrait swung open letting the toasted girl attempt to walk in.

When Shaundra walked in she was expecting to see the room empty because everyone was at dinner, but instead there stood the marauders and Lily.

"Why hullo there my dears, aren't we missing out on the most important meal of the day, now off you go," she said trying to shoo them off.

They all just stood there looking at her with anger written on there foreheads.

"I thought breakfast was the most important meal of the day," Peter said a little confused, letting the angry look slip from his face.

James scowled at him and Peter immediately put on the face of anger, again.

Lily stepped forward with her arms crossed. "Where have you been? You have been gone since lunch," she said in a dark tone.

"Osh Lily don't be sshow mad, dash how you get wrinkles, alshways bur-furrowing your eyebrows," Shaundra said stumbling over her words.

"You're drunk," Lily stated simply. Shaundra frowned, "For being the smartsh grrl in shkool you ssure rr stupid," she said.

Shaundra then fumbled over to James and threw an arm over his shoulder. "What you need my dearesht wil-fil-Lily is to get _laid, _let Jamsey- boy here shag ya onsh or twice and your skin will be as smooth as a babies butt," she said laughing.

If Shaundra wasn't so, utterly drunk Lily would yell and scream at her for saying such a thing, but she knew Shaundra didn't mean it.

"Where have you been," James repeated Lily's question. Shaundra furrowed her eyebrows and puckered her lips. "Out," she stated simply.

"You reek of fire whisky, Shaw," Sirius said taking her arm and pulling her towards the couch so she could sit. "That I do, Shirius, that id do," she agreed while letting herself be pulled along. Once she was on the couch everyone crowded around her.

"Give me the bottle," Remus said putting his hand out. Shaundra backed away and hugged the bottle as if it was an infant child trying to be taken away from her. "No! Ish mine, plus look ish empty," she said pointing to the ¾ empty bottle. "What are you talking about, it's not empty," Sirius pointed out. "Hmmm I shuppose your right," she said taking a close look at the bottle. She put the top of the bottle to her lips and let the rest of the fiery liquid sting her throat. "Ish is now," she said in gruff tone.

"Well if yoosh don't mind I would like to go to bed," she said standing up and pushing her way to the stairs.

She was starting up the stairs when Lily yelled, "Dear Merlin she is going to fall down those stairs!" James ran towards the stairs completely forgetting what would happen once he got 3 steps up. Once he got to the 3rd step he grabbed Shaundra's waist having means in carrying her back down the stairs. But once that happened the stairs went flat letting the 2 occupancies slid down, rather roughly.

James landed on his back and so did Shaundra, but her back landed on James stomach knocking the wind out of him. "Ha ha dat wash soo fun, again, again," she said clapping her hands like a little girl getting off a Ferris wheel.

Still excited Shaundra put her hands down, in a horrible place I might add, and pushed herself up. James shot up and rolled over onto his side while grabbing his crouch. Remus went over and grabbed Shaundra by her arm before she had a chance to go back up the stairs, while Sirius helped up James.

"My little potters, she crushed 'em Padfoot! She bloody crushed 'em! There smashed, cracked, broken! How in Merlin's name am I supposed to have children, or enjoy the simple perk of not feeling like someone took a jack hammer TO MY NUTS," he whimpered in a rather high pitch voice. "It's ok Prongs, just get up mate, we got better things to do," Sirius said trying to coax his friend to get up.

"Letgrr of me," Shaundra yelled trying to ring her arm loose.

"What's wrong with you? You haven't been acting the same! Since when do you drink like this," he asked trying to figure out what has gotten into her. "Maybe I am more like my father then you all thought," she screamed. This comment made everyone look at her and Remus let go.

"What are you talking about Shaw," Lily asked looking worried, "your nothing like your father?"

"I practically am my father! I don't show my feelings, I have those "precious" blue eyes of his, I am pureblood, and I drink to solve my heartache!"

Everyone just stared at her. "But the only thing different is that my father caused his own heartache. It's your entire fault that I am, like this. If I didn't care about any of you, I wouldn't have to deal with this pain. I shouldn't even waist my time on the lot of you I mean really. A mudblood, half-breed, and blood traitors, that's what you all are."

Everyone looked at her shocked, except for Lily who was frowning.

Never had she even imagined, Shaundra saying that word. Shaundra was always defending those who were called those horrible names, and hexing those who used the nicknames to kingdom come. Shaundra was a brave, strong person who wasn't afraid to stand up for what's right, always going out of her way to help someone in need of a good laugh, or just a simple smile. Lily was disappointed at how a bottle of alcohol could change all that. Where was that dear friend Lily loved so much, where had Shaundra gone.

"You are all pathetic," she growled, any sign of her bubbly tipsy drunk voice gone. Shaundra raised the bottle in her left hand and wanted to throw it but then a thought struck her.

"But none of you are as pathetic as I," she said solemnly. She dropped the bottle letting it shatter, her eyes watering and her mouth slightly open, as if someone had landed on her the way she had on James. The poor drunk girl slumped to the floor and kept repeating, "I'm pathetic," hardly over a whispered. Lily slowly walked to her and cradled the on the verge-of-crying girl. It only lasted for about a minute, because Shaundra put her hands on the floor and pushed herself up and away from Lily. Shaundra's face was flushed, yet horribly pale, but her cheeks were not tear stained and all the tears that had welled up in her eye, had disappeared. "No Lily no" she said quietly.

"Shaundra," Lily pleaded holding out her hand, hoping dearly that Shaw would take it.

"No Lily," she ordered scowling at the shards of glass, "Don't try to help me! Don't try to pull me together when I am broken. Don't Lily, just . . . . Don't."

"Why?" she begged, tears running down her face at a rapid pace, "Why are you doing this Shaw" What did I do to make are friendship start turning into this? I hardly ever see you any more, why?"

"You cared for someone who doesn't deserve to be cared about," she stated sadly while turning towards the portrait whole, stumbling along.

Remus stared after her once she had fell out of the door, wondering how it was possible that lovely beautiful person he knew threw out his school year had turned into such a terrible person.

"What happened to her," Remus whispered.

Sirius began running to the door but paused right before he walked. Not turning around he said sadly, "Someone broke her heart. The thing she refused to do was, wear her heart on her sleeve. It was the only sanctuary she had, Remus. Shaw let one person into that one little place she had." With that he ran out of the room.

"Lily, love," James cooed as he walked over to the girl sitting in the broken glass. "Come on you need to go to bed your probably tired." He said gently stroking away the tears from her face.

She didn't move, she just sat there letting silent tears run down her face. Small shudders ripple down her spine. Just like how she felt. Down.

Sirius had got to the stairs before he heard a familiar voice.

"Shaw! Please stop! You're going to get hurt!"

He ran towards the down the stairs to see Shaw being held up against a wall, her feet dangling. And holding her was his brother, Regulas.

"What makes you think you're better then her," she hissed, then spat in his face.

"Do you know what happens to purebloods who go against what the dark lord thinks, Ryans? You're going to find out!" He said sinisterly.

"Please stop Regulas! Put her down, please," Kayla pleaded tugging at his robes. She looked so little next to Regulas, and he took advantage of that. Regulas used one of his hands to push her.

But Sirius was quicker; he caught her arm before she fell.

"Sirius!" Kayla exclaimed, catching Regulas attention.

"Put her down Regulas, now," he ordered calmly.

Regulas did as he was told and put the girl down, well dropping her actually.

Sirius gripped his little brother's shirt and pushed him backwards, "Go Regulas, just go."

Regulas frowned. As much as he tried to deny it, Regulas always sought out his older brother's approval, but it was impossible to do that while obeying his family and the dark lord's orders. So it really did hurt to see his brother's face with the disappointment frankly written all over it.

In one swift movement Sirius picked up Shaundra and threw her over his shoulder. She didn't protest because she looked extremely down cast and depressed.

Kayla was at his heals. "Sirius, why is she drunk? Where has she been all day?"

He didn't answer put sped up his long strides, so he could get Shaundra up to bed quicker.

He got up the stairs and threw the portrait in a matter of seconds. No had moved from there former positions except for James who was sitting next to Lily on the floor.

"Lily! Are you ok? What happened in here?" Kayla asked taking notice to the broken glass around Lily.

Mo one answered her question; they all just watched Sirius carry Shaundra up the stairs to the boys dorm.

Once in the room Sirius laid the drunken girl on his bed, who looked at her hand solemnly. It was bleeding. It had been bleeding since she left the common room.

The last thing that she saw was Sirius rapping her hand with the material from his shirt. Then everything was black.

Shaundra woke up to the darkness of the marauder's dorm room, in a comfortable but unfamiliar bed. And her head hurt horribly.

Why was she in here?

The memories from the previous night fled into her mind.

Then she started thinking, thinking about what had caused her to do that. What had happened to the good times she had.

Starting from the end of 6th year was when her life had fallen apart.

No that was a lie.

Her life fell apart from the moment of her first breath.

But her life not completely unraveled till . . . . .


	3. Chapter 3

"Shaundra

"Shaundra! Hey Shaundra, there you are, I have been looking for you."

"Oh sorry Lil."

"What are you doing out here?"

"Oh, I . . . . . well . . . . just looking at the lake."

Shaundra was lying, and Lily knew it, but she didn't want to pry, instead she just smiled.

"You kind of just disappeared on me after D.A.D.A."

"Ya sorry about that."

_**Flashback**_

Lily was laughing as the two walked out of the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, were as Shaundra, looked tired and a bit annoyed.

"I'm going to beat my head against a rock if I get one more detention!"

Lily just laughed again and said, "That was so funny, though. That was absolutely hilarious."

_Shaundra had been passing notes with Sirius Black, when the professor took it away and said, "Aren't you worried about getting better marks in my class, Ms. Ryans. If so, I suggest you stop passing notes!"_

_Shaundra just looked at the man smugly, closing her eyes and crossing her arms arrogantly. "I'm more worried about you, professor. If you weren't so nosy, pocking your thoughts in my private life, and focused more on teaching me what I needed to learn I wouldn't be bored to death at the point of passing notes, now would I?"_

_The whole class burst into a fit of laughter, while the Professor gave Shaundra a look that she quiet often received in this class._

_She had earned herself a detention. . . . . AGAIN!_

_Shaundra took the note that he was handing back to her, not bothering to read it._

_She sighed._

"_8:00?"_

"_8:00," he repeated agreeing._

"_Oh fantastic, I'll bring the pumpkin juice, and we'll call it a date," Shaundra said sarcastically threw gritted teeth, feeling really annoyed that she had gotten detention again._

"Lily, are you laughing at the fact I got detention, or from the previous events," she questioned her friend skeptically.

"From the previous events," she giggled from behind her palms.

"That's not like you to laugh at a teacher," Shaundra mocked. Lily just rolled her eyes and held out her hand to change the subject.

"Let me see the note."

Shaundra pulled out a note from her robe pocket and handed it to Lily.

**Hey Shaw! Throw a paper at the skirt in front of you, she keeps staring at me. It's creepy**.

**_Why Sirius? She probably likes you, like every other girl in this school!_**

**Hmmm, she's pretty I guess. How long tell she starts swooning over me, do you think?**

**_I bet you ten galleons she tries to chat with you after class, and then asks you out at lunch._**

**Well I bet she asks me out in the hall.**

_**It's a deal!**_

**_Are you going to say yes?_**

**It depends on what kind of reputation she has.**

_**?**_

**;-D**

**_Oh you mean, gross you pervert!_**

_**But she doesn't always have the best things being said about her among the girls.**_

**Oh, well then yes! Hey this also means I have been asked out more times today then you!**

_**No I am ahead of you by 2! But unlike you I don't say yes to anything with legs, and in your case, a big mouth!**_

**Why didn't you say yes then!**

**_Would you say yes to Luscious and some random Slytherin you don't know? Or any Slytherin?_**

**Bastartds!**

**_Right you are my friend! So how long till you . . . . . you know try to, ya?_**

**What do you mean?**

_**I mean when are you going to sha-**_

"Shaundra that is disgusting!" Lily said hitting her arm playfully.

Shaundra just laughed, but stopped when she saw Sirius speaking to the girl that had been staring at him. Shaundra smiled and pointed them out to Lily.

Lily turned just in time to see the girl bashfully look down and blush. Sirius was leaning against a wall smirking his famous smirk. He said something and the girl giggled gleefully. Then the girl said something to him and he smiled, raising his hand to move a piece of hair from her face. Again she giggled, then said something that made Sirius go wide eyed with shock. The girl turned around and run quickly to her group of giggling friends

Sirius turned around and stomped away. When passing Lily and Shaundra he turned and glowered at them and started mumbling about having to barrow 10 galleons from James.

"Lily-kins, I'm going to be 10 galleons richer by lunch time," she stated smugly, a smirk tugging at her lips.

"Don't call me that, just because you're not James doesn't mean you can call me that," Lily scolded.

Shaundra ignored her and started walking forward. "It's quiet the waste though, I'm just going to give it to your boyfriend. Where else would Sirius get his money but from his best friend. Hmmm maybe Remus? Definitely not Peter."

Lily stopped walking and yelled, "Potter is not my-

"Ryans! Come with me at once!" McGonagall yelled from behind them, coming around the corner.

Shaundra sighed. "What the bloody hell did I do now?"

_**End of Flashback**_

After that, things had gone by so quickly yet so slowly.

McGonagall had taken Shaw to the headmasters office were she was told, her mother had been found in a muggle area, mysteriously beaten to death.

Dumbledore had excused her from all of her classes, so she could get her thoughts together, and just absorb it all. The headmaster probably thought Shaundra was going to collapse into the ground and sob endlessly. When she hadn't reacted that way, but merely nodded at the tragic news, he must have thought she hadn't taken in what was going on completely. But Shaundra knew even better then Dumbledore what had happened.

She immediately took advantage of having the rest of the day off by walking to the lake and sitting on the cold ground, not once moving, not even for lunch, just thinking.

She hated her mother. She was a stupid slut, who pretended to be oblivious to Shaundra being beaten by her father every time he was in a foul mood, or just wanted to hit her for his own amusement.

Shaw probably would have dealt with the fact better if it had always been like this, but it hadn't.

Shaundra's mother used to stick up for her and protect her like a mother should. But once Shaw turned 7 her mother just stopped coming home, maybe once a week coming to change her clothes, usually drunk, and half dressed.

Still the woman was her mother. So a tear was shed for the child abandoning drunken whore. Nothing more and nothing less.

"It's almost time for dinner," Lily pointed out. "Wouldn't want to miss out on your ten galleons again!" she said coaxing the girl to smile weakly and stand up.


	4. Chapter 4

The two only walked about a step or two before Lily flew into a torrent of words and stories

The two only walked about a step or two before Lily flew into a torrent of words and stories. Most recounting the days events like what Slughorn said about her potion, or what Marry had said at lunch, or what Sirius face looked like when the girl didn't even talk to him, or how James had tried to ask her out again and ended up getting some of Lily's freezing potion in the crouch of his trousers by '_accident_.'

Like always, any conversation with Lily made her smile and laugh hysterically it was amazing, usually when Shaundra was in a foul mood it was practically written in stone, well until Lily came along. The only other person who could do that was James.

Once in the hall Shaundra could barely stand from laughing so much. When she stumbled in to the hall the first thing she saw was the Marauders sitting at the very far end of the Gryffindor table deep in conversation about something or another.

"Look Lily there they are," Shaundra pointed, grabbing lily's hand. "Let's go sit over there."

"But I- no-" Before Lily could finish her protest Shaw dragged her down the table to the boys. The boys were occupying most of the room and Shaw hated to ask the boys to scoot over so instead she sat on Remus' left leg, knowing the shy boy would immediately push Sirius to the right so he would move over, making room for Shaw. Which is exactly what happened, and Remus turned a lovely shade of red.

Remus was always the shy one, and it was absolutely adorable to Shaundra. She took every opportunity she could to make him blush. Many people would see this as a way to tease or make fun of him, but that's not really what she was getting at.

Shaundra sat down and easily jumped into the conversation she knew nothing about.

"I agree profusely, Gobberbottom should definitely be sacked," she said nonchalantly, grabbing a dinner roll.

The Marauders (Well excluding Remus who was still trying to recover from Shaw sitting on his leg) all looked at her skeptically and amused. "Shaw just because the bloke gives you detention left and right doesn't mean he should be fired," Sirius said with a knowing grin.

"Excuse me, but that has nothing to do with it," she said defensively." The man's a pedophile! I saw him checking out your arse. I say this for your sake Sirius."

"Oh how noble of you," Sirius mocked sarcastically.

"But honestly, who actually likes the man?" Shaundra asked, looking at the boys seriously, and purposefully letting her eyes linger on Remus' eyes before smiling and turning back to the other boys.

"Well I don't like McGonagall but you don't see me calling her a pedophile," Peter said matter-of-factly.

"That's different, Pete my boy, and you know it," Peter winced and Shaundra's nick name for him.

"How is it different, Ryans," James asked smirking trying to sound like McGonagall.

"It just is ok," she said crossing her arms.

Lily coughed uncomfortably seeing as how she was still standing there. Shaundra looked up and then across to James and Peter. "Hey Jamesy-boy scoot over for your Lily-kins, gee don't you have any manners?"

"Oh, oops sorry, Evans, hey Wormtail scoot over for my Lily-kins."

"Uh no thanks I'm just going to sit somewhere else," Lily said rather put off at the fact of sitting next to James.

"Don't be silly, _Evans_," Shaundra said smirking. "Pete, move over."

"Err ok," he replied awkwardly looking at the ridiculously large 7th year sitting next to him named John McCoy

A lot of people were afraid of him just because he was very intimidating considering he was from the states, and the guy thought he was the best thing since pudding.

"Hey M-McCoy, you mind moving over for Lily," Peter stuttered. McCoy looked at Peter briefly before turning back to his conversation and not moving over. "Sorry Shaw people tend to not listen to me," Peter said a little sadly.

"Nonsense Pete, all you have to do is be more assertive, like this," Shaundra said reaching for a dinner role, then bouncing it in her hand while looking at McCoy as if taking aim.

"No really this isn't needed, Shaundra. I'll just find Marry and sit with her. Just put the dinner role dow-"

Before Lily could finish Shaw flung the roll at the back of McCoy's head. He turned around and gave her a menacing look. "Oi McCoy! Why don't' you do as my friend Peter here asked you to do, and scoot over!" Shaundra scowled at him.

"Excuse me," he said turning his body towards the group.

Shaundra grunted in frustration and stood up slamming her hands down to lean over the table. "Do you understand English, man? Bloody hell, move your gorilla-like being into the vacant area to your left! Or are those words to large for you?" McCoy glared at her for a few seconds, but then moved over and continued his conversation like nothing happened.

Shaundra sat down and smiled at Lily. "Sit." It was more of a command then a request but Lily didn't hesitate to refuse it. "No thank you." But one look from Shaw got her to sit down next to James.

"There that wasn't so hard. Now we need to talk Sirius."

"What! Why me?"

"I do believe you owe me ten galleons," she said folding her hands and looking down.

"Damn I thought you would forget."

Shaundra looked up and smiled. "Of course not."

The two began to argue about the terms of the bet and Lily couldn't help but smile. It was an odd thing to see Shaundra a mess like she had been at the lake. Yes there had been times when she was upset, sad, or angry, and yes it was a bit difficult to get her out of that slump, but never had she been so _**quiet.**_ It was scary. But hopefully she was truly feeling better. Lily of course would probably never know because Shaw had a little tendency to hide her feelings and was very good at it. But she seemed fine so one could only hope.


End file.
